2004: Present day
I've gone back to meditating to sleep. I hadn't done so since I stopped in my mothers death.
I've come back again to my spiritual path for healing, though, I never stopped being on this path. Even when I have written
in the dark. They say, embrace your demons. I don't think whoever said that had demons like mine but there is allot more I've
learned and understand now.
Today, I dare to breathe. I write all this down because it has become time to let it go, and then own it.
Some of my initial thoughts are: What the hell do you mean aliens?
Hehehe, but there's some irony in there. I write fanfic with aliens. You know, they could be there. It's no place of
mine to question, believing in faeries and quantum theories and all. I'm a little more objective about aliens but I feel,
I simply don't have enough information there to really say "I believe". I can only say, I know something ... and in all my
fancy, it's right over there in my night star. That middle one right there in Orion's belt. One time I got this notion since
if I ever got lost and had no place else better to go, which star would I follow. So I picked that star. Later, I would learn
from the Cherokee that is the three sister stars. Then, that that is Orion's belt. Then, that that is the three stars of the
Egyptian burial ceremony with the pyramids. The three last pyramids ever built in Egypt align with the three sister stars.
Seems like a good enough place as any, if I talk to Eli Khimlar's, that it is those stars who talk to me when I meditate
to the stars sometimes. Like John Crichton says of his Aeryn, that's always my point of reference on the map.
In a whole of things. It doesn't matter what I believe. What is, is. What is not, won't be. Despite myself.
We all each have our own special sound and song and tone in the universe. Sometimes spiritual awakening is a good thing,
wonderful, wonderful thing where all you'd ever dream comes true. And sometimes, Coyote gets to have a little fun and teach
a person. What is most apparent to me is irony. The universe afterall, does have a sense of humor. And the universe is inside
every living being just as much as it is out there past the sky. There is meaning in everything, and all things relate.
So today, I dare to breathe.